We hear it all. The. Time. Every article we read, every conference we attend. “Strive for work-life balance,” they all say. Sometimes they tell stories about how their children’s babysitters spent more time with their kids than they did; that one day they realized it and decided to “change everything” in order to achieve the perfect work-life balance.
It sounds like the holy grail of modern living—a seamless equilibrium between professional duties and personal joy.
But let’s face it: work-life balance – at least in the way we think about it – is a total myth.
Here’s the truth: life isn’t a scale to be perfectly balanced; it’s a dynamic, ever-shifting dance. No matter how meticulously we juggle deadlines and dinner plans, there will always be moments when one side tips the scale. One day you’ll be awesome at your job, but not be there as much as you’d like to for your family. One day you’ll be Mom of the Year while your work phone calls are going straight to voicemail. One day you might have a solid workday and an okay life day, but you’re starting to burn out and you haven’t been able to take a T.O. for some self-care.
That’s okay. In fact, it’s the only way.
The real goal should be integration, not balance. Instead of striving for a 50/50 split, focus on blending your work and personal life in a way that feels authentic and sustainable. Embrace the ebb and flow of your responsibilities and passions. Sometimes work will demand more of you; sometimes personal life will. And that’s not a failure—it’s just life in action.
Everyone tells us to just stop pleasing people, to say no more, to take a bath. But sometimes it’s important to make the people we love happy. Sometimes we don’t feel like we have the option to say no, for fear of losing our job or being judged. Sometimes we don’t have time for a freakin’ bath, because the food on the stove is burning and deadlines are approaching and oh, great, the cat just threw up.
Let’s stop chasing an elusive ideal and start designing a life that integrates our work and personal interests in a way that feels right for us. Let’s stop saying yes to ALL the things and start saying yes only to the things that really matter (and no, girl, not everything really matters).
Balance might be a myth, but harmony? That’s something we can create.